Determination (:

Mojih 50 odtenkov sive.

We lose ourselves in the things we love.

We find ourselves there, too.

1. If you were a super hero what powers would you have? Well, I could fly and I would have that magic red ring, which could make flames of fire every time I wanted.

2. What was your last dream about? If nightmares are dreams too, then I dreamt about my closest family which has gone through some difficulties. 

3. What would you do if you won the lottery? I would buy my own island (:

4. Are you psychic in any way? I think I was, when I was younger, but now I lost my ability I guess...

5. Are you a good lover? ;$$ hm, let´s ask someone who tried?

6. Where would your dream holiday be? Atlantida :D

7.  What is your favourite song? Sex on fire- Kings Of Leon

8.  What would be your ideal partner? Handsome, sincere, hard-working, gentle man, who should have a great humor and selected taste for fashion. 

9. Do you want children? Ohhh, Yess I do :)

10.  If you could go back in time to change one thing what would it be? I am not proud of everything I did, but I am pretty sure I would do it all again. So no regrets ;) 

11. Have you ever been on TV? Yes, I were. 

12. Do you prefer baths or showers? I prefer baths. 

13. If you could live anywhere, where would that be? I do not know, all I know is that I do not want to live where I live now... 

14. What do you wear to bed? Depends on seasons :)

15. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunrises!

16.  Do you like scary movies? No.

17. What are your favourite swear words?  :: GO FUCK YOURSELF ::

18. What is the longest you've gone without sleep? 1 day and a half.

19. Do you have any scars? yes I have

20.  What did you want to be when you grew up? A hairdresser? silly right ;)

21. Are you scared of flying? Hell no! :D

22. Would you rather trade some intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? As my history teacher says, that I will come very far just because I am looking good, I would trade some looks for intelligence. HAHA

23.  Are you reliable? Yes I am.

24. Are you proud of yourself? I am not yet, where I want to be, but I am walking slowly to my goal which will make me proud and will fulfilled my hopes. 

25.  If you could ask your future self one question what would it be?    ˝ Am I happy? ˝

26. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature what new animal would you create? weasel-cat with fluffy white fur :3

27. What is the most unusual conversation you've ever had? It is hard to name one specific conversation :P

28. Are you much of a gambler? well, I guess I know how to hold myself back. 

29. Are you a good liar? It depends on situation.

30. Are you a good judge of character? No, I am too innocent and I always look for good things in people. 

31.  What is your favourite saying? - dum spiro, spero.

32.  What is your most expensive piece of clothing? dress, from my ex boyfriend for over than 250 €

33.  What is your favourite smell/scent? Lavender ;*

34.  Can you blow bubbles with bubblegum? HAHA, what a stupid question!? Of course I can!

35.  Can you curl your tounge? mhm

36.  Is your bellybutton an innie or outie? haha, let me see.. It is innie :D

37.  What would be your dream car? no hesitation- MINI COOPER!

38.  Are you left or right handed? I am right handed, but really I am left handed...

39. What was the last book you read? Mmm, fifty shades darker ;**

40. If you could learn any language fluently what would it be? French. 

41.  What historical Figure would you love to see in 21st centuary life? Vasilij Grigorjevič Zajcev.

42. Who was better, the Beatles or Elvis Presley? hard to say.. The beatles.

43.  What animal would you most like to have as a pet? A penguin 

44. Do you like poetry? I adore poetry! :)

45.  What would your dream job be? A doctor or a worldwide known writer

46. How long does it take you to get ready? 15 minutes

47.  What do you think the greatest invention has been? fire

48.  Do you suck or bite lollipops? hhahaha, suck

49. Do you talk to yourself? yes, often.

50.  Do you find yourself attractive? Only on my good days :)

Days like this I want to drive away.

And I know it is long gone

and that magic Is not here no more,

and I might be okay but I am not fine at all...

Adele- Someone like you

Mar ne bi bilo čudovito, če bi moje oči lahko fotografirale? Vsi tisti ljubeči pogledi pomembnih ljudi v mojem življenju bi mi olajšali trnjavo pot skozi življenje. Vse kar bi bilo potrebno bi bilo, da si v slabem trenutku pred svoje oči prikličem nekoga, ki ga obožujem ali pa nekaj, brez česar ne morem živeti. Nekaj kar mojemu življenju podaja smisel. Sliši se nadvse preprosto, vendar v praksi ni tako. 

V življenju te vsak dan, kaj razočara. In ja, tudi jaz se zavedam, da te prizadane le tisto, kar sam pustiš da se te dotakne. Vendar to ni absolutno resnično, kajti včasih nimaš moči, da bi postavil zid okoli sebe in se pretvarjal, da je kriza minila. Namesto tega kloniš pod pritiskom in takrat dobiš tisti odvraten občutek, da je morda danes tisti dan, v katerem preprosto ne moreš zmagati. 

V tistem izbranem trenutku, ko skoraj že obupaš, vidiš druge, ki se naslanjajo nad tvojim neuspehom in te pomilujoče gledajo. Takrat po mojem mnenju zrasteš za par centimetrov, ko dokažeš sebi, da premoreš toliko volje, da se jim še vedno uspeš zmagovalno nasmehniti nazaj v obraz. Kajti prava moč je v tistemu, ki se po padcu vedno znova pobere s tal in se hkrati nekaj novega nauči. Torej po tem sklepam, da bi bilo najbolje, da ob naslednjem padcu, s seboj vzamem udobno blazino, ki mi bo olajšala stik s tlemi, s kruto realnostjo.  

I am only a crack in this castle of glass.

I do not regret a thing. That I met you. 

That I feel in love with you. If I were to meet you again, 

even knowing that sadness awaits me, 

I would definitely fall in love with you again. 

-Green Day- Forgotten

Sedela je na leseni klopici sredi železniške postaje in opazovala ples snežink, ki so si utirale pot na zemljo. Verjetno so tekmovale, katera bo hitrejše pristala, katera bo tista, ki bo osvojila točno določeno mesto pred drugo. O moj bog, kako je oboževala prihajajočo zimo! Mraz, ki ji je obarval ličnice v svetlo rožnate tone. Piš hladnega vetra, ki jo je opominjal, da jo lahko pogrejejo le topla oblačila. Jutranja megla, ki ji je dala občutek zavetja, ko je odhajala v šolo. 

Četudi je šlo med novo zapadlimi snežinkami za tekmovanje, so le te izgledale naravnost veličastno. In takrat si je zaželela postati nevidna. Hotela je izhlapeti v nebo, se jim pridružiti in se skupaj z njimi zabavati. Hotela je pozabiti na vsakdanje težave in bolečine, na trpljenje, ki jo je za vedno zaznamovalo. V tistem obupanem drobcu sekunde si je celo zaželela, da bi njeno mesto zasedel nekdo drug. Vseeno ji je bilo, če je glavna igralka svojega življenja in ima za to mesto celo plačano vstopnico, ki ji zagotavlja, da je le njeno. Tisto sekundo, si je zaželela stranske nepomembne vloge. Hotela je konec duševnega trpljenja. Naveličanja. Življenje nekakšnega zombija, ki le čaka v vrsti ali pa sledi družbi, katera se vsak dan znova pomika po ustaljenih tirnicah. Hotela je avanturo, ki ji jo čudovita zima lahko nudi. Ampak očitno se to nebo zgodilo, in morda, čisto po naklučju je tako tudi prav. Zato je le vstala z lesene klopice, ki jo je že začenjal pokrivati sneg ter s težkimi koraki odšla proti množici.

Povprečnost

Zazidani v svoj svet

ne vedo, 

da je kje še kaj drugega

kot ta varna majhnost, 

v kateri se vsi poznajo

in je za vselej določeno,

kdo mora biti zgoraj

in kdo pri tleh. 

Če se pojavi kdo,

ki je drugačen,

ga izločijo. 

Za vselej.

( Neža Maurer, Drevo spoznanja )

Youth- daughter

Žalosten je lahko le živ človek.